


You

by the3rdbrother



Series: mormor cutiepies [2]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Angst, Destructive Jim, Domestic, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Jim feels guilty, M/M, Self-Hatred, and Seb comforts him, crying Jim
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-13
Updated: 2015-12-13
Packaged: 2018-05-06 11:59:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5416097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the3rdbrother/pseuds/the3rdbrother
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim feels guilty. Just... so  <em>fucking</em> guilty!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>- The one where Jim had one of his episodes and now regrets what he did to his Tiger and Sebastian is patient as always.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You

**Author's Note:**

> So this is part two... of both series (cause it's mormor AND hopefully helping me to find some more inspiration again)  
> It can totally be read as a stand alone! I mean, it's in the same setting as [part one](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4912462), but there are no references or stuff, so enjoy an a little angstier mormor!  
> (I just wrote this so let me know when there are any mistakes:))

 

 

„Shhh, it's okay, hm? Don't cry, baby...”

Seb was on their bed, trying to soothe a hysteric, sobbing Jim. He kept his arms around him and held him as close as possible. Despite his whole body hurting, the internal pain from seeing Jim so absolutely wrecked was so much worse. He just wanted to make it all better for him, no matter the costs.

He tried to pester his face with little kisses to show him how much Seb loved him, but Jim just sobbed even harder.

“No it- it's NOT!” Jim hiccuped in response and desperately buried his face in his sniper's shoulder. Seb didn't mind at all and immediately started to caress his hair in a reassuring motion. But again, Sebastian was stopped by the smaller man's sudden resistance.

“It's not okay...” the sniper heard him whisper, barely understanding it. He would do anything to just change the whole situation for Jim. _Anything!_ He couldn't bear to see him so out of it, so clearly down and suffering. He couldn't bear to always have to see Jim destroy himself, every time a little more and just stand by and not being able to help him. Wasn't it is job to protect Jim? But how could he protect him, when the other didn't let him.

“You shouldn't even touch me, Moran!” Jim suddenly spat and it didn't hurt as much anymore, as it did in the beginning. When Sebastian hadn't known how self destructive Jim could be and how sometimes those harsh words were his only way of showing his affection. But now, the sniper knew that the hatred in the voice wasn't directed at him, but at the smaller man himself, so all he did was to hold on to him tighter, embracing him with his whole body and trying to show him that he wasn't alone, _needn't_ be alone.

“I'm serious! Just look at you, bruised up more often than not! And all just because you're stupid and in my way!”

The sniper ignored the low voice in his head telling him to just shut the other one up, instead he just smiled understandingly. He knew how this went, Jim became angry or just needed the violence, the pain, the power, whatever, and Seb was always there for him, let him do what he had to. He didn't so much mind the beatings and cutting themselves, but what came after. When Jim was calm again and realized what he had done, when he felt the guilt creep up his spine like the deadly poison it was and told him how worthless and bad he was for doing this to his tiger, when he tried to make Sebastian hate him and leave because he wanted to protect him, because he knew he would hurt him again and again and couldn't stand that thought.

“You like it when you are beaten by me? Fucking grow balls, Moran and become a fucking man for once! What would your parents say if they knew what you let me do to you, hm?”

Sebastian flinched. Never had he said it didn't hurt! Jim's cold, biting voice could do so much damage without a blink, but that was the point after all, making Sebastian angry enough to just walk away or even punish Jim for what he did every so often. And the mastermind knew how to rile him up, he knew all of his tigers secrets and fears and in a state like that, he didn't hesitate to use them.

“What, got nothing to say to that, Moran? You think your momma-”

“Stop it Jim.” he pressed between clenched teeth. He knew he shouldn't let it get to him but, his parents were a sore subject, still, after all those years.

“But you told me, didn't you tiger?” Of course Jim wouldn't let go, not after _smelling_ the increasing fear on his prey. “You told me what she said to you, when little Sebby, all happy, told her about his first _boyfriend_ in school, didn't you? Tell me Basher, how did she react again? Was she all happy for her little boy? Hm? Or what did she do?”

There was a tear in his eye, threatening to fall down while he tried to swallow around the lump in his throat.

And that was the moment Jim changed again, his eyes wide with guilt once more and he tried to back away from his sniper for another time.

“I'm so sorry Sebby oh god I am... please...”

And there he was again, sweet, loving, crying Jim. And guilty, always so guilty.

Sebastian flinched a bit when the small hand reached out to touch the bruises on his cheek, softly caressing them and trying to take in all the damage he had done in his tantrum not an hour ago. And the more he saw, the sadder and more horrified the small man became.

“I'm so horrible Tiger I am oh god why am I always doing this...” and now the self hatred showed once more on his face. So deep and so passionate that Sebastian couldn't stand it. He would endure everything Jim gave him, but he couldn't see his strong, independent boss this small.

“You should get away from me, Seb, you should! I'm always just hurting you and hurting you even more, no matter what I do I … how do you even stand to be with me anymore...”

And it sounded so resigned and broken, Sebastian finally _had_ to stop him, to reassure him that everything would be alright. That he would never leave him and always forgive him, no matter what. So he took a deep breath. He knew he would regret this at some point later, but right now it was what Jim needed.

“I love you boss and you know that. I do everything for you. Everything and anything. No matter what you need, it's my fucking job to provide it and I know how you can be, sometimes, Jimmy, but that doesn't matter cause it's you, all of it. You're not just the criminal mastermind, my boss and sometimes at home my sweet Jimmy, but you're also this other Jim, the angry one, the frustrated one, the sad one, you're also this crazy little guy who doesn't have anyone to _really_ really talk to, sometimes. You're all of them and I know this and I don't want you any other way! And even knowing that you will use this against me some other time... but I love you Jim, not in spite of all your personalities and dark sides, but partly because of them. Because they are all you.”

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Tell me what you think:)
> 
> My [tumblr](http://the-3rd-brother.tumblr.com)


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